i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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