i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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