the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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