my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
