marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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