38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
