I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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