I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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