pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i wish my penis had a tongue
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
