even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
