she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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