2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
