u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
