you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
