Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
