She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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