Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
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