Jerry, you need to find god
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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