did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
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