I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
