I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm always down for nudity.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
