i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
