So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
