Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
