i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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