do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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