haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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