When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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