we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
