i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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