actually, I'm a sock model
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
