So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
