His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Liz is crying about burritos again.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
