Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
