we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
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i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
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I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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