the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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