So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
