I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize