I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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