I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
