I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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