I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
