So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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