i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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