he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
