nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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