Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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