thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
