you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize