I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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