I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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