I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
