You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
