i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
