home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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