When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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