I like to think it a success when the cops are called
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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