I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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