Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
