Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
