you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
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And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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