areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
