Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
