Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I enjoy the company of your penis
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
